Saturday, March 31, 2007 . 7:40 AM

Hi. I'm here to talk about different opinions again. You know the saying of being perfect? Its like everyone is not perfect. But i beg to differ. I think that everyone is perfect. The only reason why we think we are not perfect is because people think we are not perfect. Everything we do in life is right, even if its wrong, because this is what life is all about. Everything happens. So we dont think we are perfect because our characters clashes with others'. This gives me the inspiration to the next topic : Destiny. But i will talk about it in the next post. Anyway, its about to be 1st ofApril soon so....

Happy Birthday to my Besties ROYSTON and VIVIAN KOH!!!!!

Tomorrow is the match between Groupie and CP, we gonna trash them. I'm excited. I hope no one uses the upper court at 3pm. Alright. Goodnight.

Thursday, March 29, 2007 . 2:55 AM

Its 5.56pm now and im really really bored. There's nothing to watch and nothing to do. I just ate macdonald's. I slept at 4 yesterday and woke up at 7 cuz i had to go "tomb clearing." Then came home to sleep again till 2. Mum and sis are in JB shopping. Ohya, yesterday, sis,jacx,vand,becky,steph,dw and dennis threw a 'surprise' party for me at taka. Damn cool. I got a $50 topman voucher, a shirt designed by them and a pull and bear boxers. Then we hanged around and chat till it was 12 before heading home. Oh, im finally returning to the design class today. I'm going to continue in pursuing my dream. I am going to be the "IT'' designer of singapore. Okay, goodbye for now.


Oh dream a little dream, yo dream a little dream baby.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007 . 3:05 AM

I dont know why but i just suddenly feel like blogging. I couldnt sleep till it was 5 yesterday. damn it. I know that im a thinker. I think too much. I dont see things simply. That is why i always have doubts, always have questions. I am feeling very moody now. There are some of my friends whom when i talk to, have to be wary of them. I cant talk to them about anything. I would be thinking about what they are thinking when im talking. This, makes me very uncomfortable. This, is human games. Friends plot against one another. You will never know if the person is disliking you or not. I used to think that those people who put " no backstabbers and hypocrites allowed" in their friendstars are dopes but now, i agree with them. A human heart is hard to perceive. Maybe thats why they call it " the heart" cuz it sounds like "hard". For my friends reading, no worries, im definitely not that time of person. You dont have to guard yourself against me. cuz when i am nice to you, it is sincere. Like if i tell you you look good, it is true. Dont doubt like me. Dont. I really want to study psycology. its damn cool. I want to know what everybody has in their mind.

Open your heart to me, please, trust me.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007 . 12:35 PM

Hi. I didnt smile for a while just now and someone asked me if i'm unhappy. I asked why did he ask and he replied: "because you are always smiling". Do i always smile? Nvm. i went to watch mr bean today with groupie. There were so many people. Damn cool. Then i decided not to go pubbing and instead, went to have a little chat with siying farah and kellyn. After that came home and have nothing to do. Actually i kinda have a weird feeling now. I think i miss someone but the thing is that i dont know who am i missing. Anyway, goodbye.


HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY TO KAIXIN!

HAPPY 3 DAY OLD TO ENOT ENOT!

Monday, March 26, 2007 . 8:46 AM

I didnt want to blog half an hour ago, but now, i just have nothing more to do. I feel very tired but i cant sleep. I just feel like talking but there is no one to talk to. I think i have been quite an ass lately. I have been throwing tantrums for no particular reason. Maybe because i'm sick of everything, including myself. I find it really hard to say to myself "I can do it" because i know that i actually cant. In life, everything is not over because you still believe in yourself. For me, i dont believe in myself anymore. I have no reasons to like myself. Everday, i tell myself that i will change but every morning i wake up the same thing. On average, a woman speaks 10 thousand words a day while a man speaks only 2 thousand. This makes me freak.


Growing, learning, stretching.

Here are the pics i took with 4n1b. damn cool.

Sunday, March 25, 2007 . 9:21 AM

Hello everyone. Have you watched the academy awards and wondered why they give out best leading role and best supporting role? I did. In fact, life is like that. In nearly every single thing, there will always be a leading and a supporting role. In a movie, its hard to find 2 people of the same sexes getting the leading role, if not, they would be both the supporting ones. But, even if you may look like the leading one, it may not necessarily be the case. Take Dreamgirls for example. J.Hud had more scenes than beyonce in the movie and her performance was much more noticeable. But why was she nominated for a supporting role rather than a leading role? And in a band, tubas will be the supporting role and trumpets and saxaphones will be the leading role. What i am trying to tell you, is that everyone was borned with a role. You are either a leading or a supporting. The mistake that some people make is that even though they are supporting roles, they try to be a lead. In the end, they make a fool out of themselves. As for me, i too thought that i was a lead. I remember the time when i was in secondary 3, my teacher pulled me out of the classroom and she said : " You are not popular, not at all. " I didnt heed her advice then but now, i know. I am a supporting role.

Saturday, March 24, 2007 . 12:07 PM

Hi. I seriously enjoyed myself for the past 2 days. 23rd/34th march. Although it was disappointing to be waiting for people to wish me but they didnt, it was also nice to receive wishes from people i didnt expect. On the 23rd of march, it was the celebration of kaixin and my birthday at marina south. It was seriously damn cool. Instead of eating, i spent my time taking in the mood of the dinner. Everyone was having fun i hope. Too bad it wasnt full attendance.I really love my friends and they are wonderful. They got me a ralph lauren package and wanted me to smell like them. i love it and thanks again. You can view the pictures at my friendster soon. After that, we went to slack at weehow's bball court before going home. Seriously damn cool. Then 24th, i celebrated with the 4n1b with a bbq at my house. We had lots of fun. they got me a cake ( my 4th one) and it was damn cool. Then we slacked at my house downstairs till 3am. Oh ya, they gave me a casio watch for my bday. Thanks! I love it! I really love my birthday. Pictures can be viewed in my friendster in a day's time. My next post will be on "Leading and Supporting Roles". Stay tune!

Thursday, March 22, 2007 . 11:39 PM

Hi. It's 12.45am now. Here is the list of Top 20 wishers :(only after 12)

-LSH(bombed me with 21 smses)
-Vivian( called me and sang me a birthday song)
-JunLeong
-Punggol
-Royston
-ZhanYi
-MY MUM
-MY SIS
-Siying
-Leonard
-Stanley
-DingLong
-Kwangkai
-Melissa
-Aileen
-Farah
-Cheefai
-Fauzi
-Fran

Thank you very much people!

Anyway, went to Jack's place with my family and few of my relatives. Nothin' beta than steak with orange juice! Okay, then they surprised me yet again with a cake and a birthday song. I seriously have a good family. Its a heart shaped cake and i love it. Then i came home and watched curse of the golden flower.damn nice. ok. be back tmr. see ya! Its the 22nd or march already and this is the 2nd time i'm typing this post because the previous one disappeared. Ok. Tomorrow is my birthday already and i'm feeling normal. I didnt imagine my birthday period would be so boring. I guess nothing special is going to happen. Anyway, someone ask me a question yesterday that made me think. "What are you good at?" It made me really think. What am i good at? Seriously, there is nothing i am ever good at in my life. Maybe this is why i hate god, cuz i hate his creation. Why cant he create me as something else? something not so lousy. I hope i would wake up someday and be somebody else. I swear i'll get a better life.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007 . 9:54 PM

It was dark, real dark. Then the sudden light ; It made things so bright. I waited but the rain didnt pour. I guess the sky was trying to tell me that even though the sky may be dark and out, it may not probably rain. And the light would always try to make a special appearance. I couldnt sleep till it was 4 yesterday.


Hah, at least someone thinks that i rock. No one thought that i rock before. will be back later. take care. Hi. I stayed at home the whole day today and felt like shit. I spent the whole day on the couch watching tv and thinking about my future. I think i'm just gonna take one step at a time. Anyway, i dont know where did all my friends disappeared today. I didnt see them online. I waited with my phone beside me. It didnt ring, no it didnt. I guess i'm just not a "best friend" material. I donno. I'm weird. It's raining now and i love it.



I wait, and wait but you didnt text at all.

Monday, March 19, 2007 . 8:10 AM

Dear JASPER GOH JIA QING,

OFFER OF A PLACE IN REPUBLIC POLYTECHNIC.


In view of your unsuccessful application for JAE Appeal, we are prepared to let you enrol for the course R17 MATERIALS SCIENCE on the condition that you will retake the necessary O-Level subjects later on and fulfil the MER for this course.


OMG, i really cant believe that i would posted to a course full of science when i hate science to the core. Now, i'm in a dilemma. I dont know if the course got future or not and whether i will be interested enough to do well or not. I seriously need to consult alot of people before deciding. I only have tomorrow to decide. Gosh, i need help.

Sunday, March 18, 2007 . 9:41 AM

Ok. I've got great cousins. They baked me cake yesterday and got me a present today! Guess what? They added another burberry to my collection. Whoo! How cool? Damn cool. Ok, today was cool, woke up early to support randall and willie in campus superstar. I felt that they were good but they didnt get in. nvm. then i went to cousin kaixin's birthday. then came home and "tutor" lsh. Then went to eat with him and came home. Going out tmr with Groupie to shop for poly bags. I dont have any poly to go but i'll just accompany them. Oh yeah, any ideas on how i should celebrate my b'day? I aint got a clue. HELP.


Thats me, ugly and dandy.

Saturday, March 17, 2007 . 9:41 AM

I just came home from dinner. It's 11.30pm and my cousins just threw me a suprise party. They baked a cake specially for me. Kinda touched. It's the first time someone did that for me. Thanks. :) Ok. Gonna go sleep. I hope tonight wont be another sleepless night.

I want a pretty face, i really do. Good thing is that in my life, i have many dreams. Bad thing is, they are all hard to achieve.

But hey, a dream wouldnt be a dream if it aint hard to achieve right? That's what i wrote in my 'o' level's english compo. Ever since young, i've got many things i've wanted to be.Other than being a fashion designer, director, actor, scriptwriter, lawyer, psychiatrist and teacher. My latest dream, or ambition is to be a..... what do you call that? Oh ya, a goodwill ambassador just like Angelina Jolie. I dont know how i can work towards being that, but nvm. I want to help as many unfortunate children as possible. I believe that life is short, really short. And i think it is unfair that some people out there cant enjoy things that we can enjoy. Since i'm a person who is motivated by smiles of the people around me, i thought how nice would it be to make people smile? Make them feel loved. This is why i want to be a goodwill ambassador.

Friday, March 16, 2007 . 8:07 AM

Hi. I'm here today to talk about UGLY. Every human being sees the word ugly in a different way. For me, i think being ugly, is mostly about the inner thing. Having an ugly heart would be the worst. But, of course, ugly behaviour and ugly dressing. Oh ya, being fat is not wrong. Just be healthy. Many people call fat people ugly but i definitely dont agree with them. One particular incident has been stucked in my mind ever since it happened.

GUY 1 and GUY 2 sitting at bench.

Fat girl walks past.

GUY 1 : Ewww...... "de bah". (Laughs)

GUY 2 : Thats so rude, if you call her fat, what about our guy friend who is also fat?

GUY 1 : Aiya, its okay for a guy to be fat but very wrong for a girl to be fat.

Conversation ended.


See? Are you this type of person? I think that as long as you dress well ,have a good attitude and be healthy, YOU ARE NOT WRONG.



Admit that you are fat, but never say you are ugly.

Thursday, March 15, 2007 . 9:39 AM

I enjoyed my day today. Shopping and good food. I bought my street soccer boots at cheap price. I LOVE SURPRISES.



Lord if you're there, please tell me when will the sun ever shine on me again.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007 . 10:28 AM

I went to RP to hand in my appeal letter with roy and lsh. then went to hand in another appeal letter in TP with colin,matt and alvin. then went to sr jc. then went to alvin's house. then cf joined us. then went j8 eat then go colin's house then come home. I plan to sign up for private o in case i cant get into any polys. I really do hope that i can get into TP or RP. Please, please, please. I feel weird, really weird. I love my friends.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007 . 5:07 AM

I learned something today. Never have faith. It was faith that brought me to this state. I didnt want to believe, but when i had the slightest hope, this has to happen to me. Even RP doesnt want me. What else can i do? With 19 as my aggregate, i cant believe i cant get into a poly. Why is this happening to me? I dont know what to do now. Last week, i thought it was the end.But i didnt give up. I tried to face the fact that i have to get into RP. But when i'm finally adapting to it, i didnt get in. WOW. I love my life. I'm going to RP tomorrow. I am going to beg if they refuse me. This is my last hope. I hope.




Faith helps some, and crushes some's heart.

Monday, March 12, 2007 . 2:49 AM

I think i expect too much from my friends. anyway, if a person bothers to know what i'm thinking about, heres a clue. Two songs. Travelin'thru and Listen. It's currently 5.56pm. I'm bored. I didnt go to sentosa as my mum said we were celebrating jl's birthday. But he chose to go out with his friend. Where do i go now?



Space out.

Sunday, March 11, 2007 . 11:45 AM

MUSIC. It means a different thing to different people. To me, music is something thats soothes and calms me down. I feel that music, can sometimes express things that you cant say. Like the song Listen, by Beyonce Knowles. The song shows what i'm trying to say. It's so cool. I would have been a singer if i had good voice, or rather an appropriate voice. The different part of the music, gives you a different feeling. I dont know how i can describe this but i just love the feeling. Music, is damn cool.

Saturday, March 10, 2007 . 8:21 AM

Hi. Considering that i can live up to 58 years old, i only have 480 more months to live.thats very little. ok nvm. went to jacx' surprise party yesterday. I LOVE SURPRISE parties.


HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY GOH JIA LONG.

Thursday, March 08, 2007 . 8:01 AM

Hi, im crazy and i need help.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007 . 7:03 PM

I didnt realise i wrote my last post until i saw it. Didnt know why i wrote it. Ok. i woke up early today to seriously think about my future. Readers, please vote.

1. Fashion Designer, NAFA. $9,653. 3yrs.

2. Phycology, SIM. $50,000. 3yrs.

3. Integrated events management, RP. $2,635. 3yrs.

4. Retake O levels, Private. $358. 1yr.

I've always had the dream of becoming a fashion designer, in fact, everyone who knows me knows that. But the thing is, in reality, a dream can only be a dream. I cant believe i actually believed that TP would take me in. Now, i really dont know where to go. i heard that RP's schooling hours are 8-5 every weekday. wth. I spoke to my auntie a few mins ago. She said, in life, you wouldnt just have interest in a thing . you will never know unless you try. So i thought to myself. Do i really want integrated events management? Is that what im going to do a few yrs down the road? I guess i'm feeling down because the hope in me has been crushed. I've always wanted to do something cool. I want to be a fashion designer because i want people to look good. I want them to feel good. My relatives and friends are like, future fashion designer. I always thought that i would be, too. but now, i dont think im gonna be anymore. On the 13th of march, if i manage to get into RP, byebye to my dream, byebye my beloved self. Ok. I dont understand. Life is not interesting. A human's mind is. Why, why would friends become foe? it has got to be the lack of communication. I dont understand why would people put things down so easily after they have held the thing for such a long time? FRIENDS. Please understand the word. FRIENDS would not exist if any of the letters are missing. Understanding, understanding is the key to being able to stay together. I dont know why im saying all this. There are so many things going on in my head now. Its messy. There are so many things i want to do but i cant. I'm not strong enough. I'm always a loser. I'm a sucker. I am so weak, even a baby can crush me. Please God, dont let anything happen to the family and friends around me. I wont be able to take it. This will be the only thing i pray for. I pray.


A human mind is hard to percieve.

Labels: I

Tuesday, March 06, 2007 . 7:43 PM

I'm feeling down. really really down. downer then the time i got my o level's result. my dream has been crashed. no longer can i be a fashion designer, no longer can i dream about playing a PSP in bus 58. no longer can i dream about meeting up my friends for lunch and after school. I have nowhere to go. certainly nowhere to go. i thought i was ready for this but i realised i wasnt. i had a hope when my sister called me yesterday, but my world came crashing down on me today. stop giving me false hope. i've had enough. i dont wanna lie to myself. i wanna go to sleep and hope everything would be nice when i wake up. how nice. Where do i go now? nobody can tell me. I'm confused, really confused. I need help. SOON.


Just take me away. In life, every single thing is being seen differently. but when something is being seen as the same, that would be something special. to " see" is not to literally see with your eyes, but to think about something; as in what you think about a certain matter or a certain object. For me, i havent found anyone who sees things the way i do. For example, friends. i see friends as things that are valuable. very valuable. i would never do anything to hurt a friend intentionally. i dont understand why would friends yell at one another just because they are in a bad mood. friends, are more special then family, because friends, are bonds created by 2 or more human beings. it doesnt just appear, it takes effort. yesterday, one of my friend was telling the other not to put 100% into a relationship because you will never know if the other party does so too. I dont agree with that, not at all. You see, everybody is so afraid of losing out, that they dont give their best in everything. This is why everybody is feeling so insecured now. this is also why "TRUST" has been getting lesser. I trust my friends no matter what. As long as i give 100% to them, i hope in my heart they will do the same too. I love my friends. I really do.


Here is something, i cant get into any poly. you know what? i dont blame anybody but myself. during my secondary school life, i always thought: " oh, wow, so what if i failed science? im not using it as one of my subject". This caused me my aviation management and services. When i filled in my 12 applications for JAE, i filled in many choices i couldnt get into. why? because i thought im mr "oh so good at fashion design". I myself give a 100% to others but failed to give it to myself because of such incidents. But now i know, im not good, not good at all.


When the rain stops pouring, my heart stops beating.

Sunday, March 04, 2007 . 9:17 PM

Listen, to sound in my heart, a melody i started but cant complete.
I just saw jacintha's blog today, thought that it was great to write down things you think about your friends. I think if i were to do that, there wouldnt be space. i have so many friends that are important to me. Since im waiting for my sis to wake up, i shall do so now. btw, grandma's birthday was great, then cousins night out at some pub. i drank. im gg out with groupies later to queensway.

GROUPIE:
andy- bloody moodswinger, reminds me of my younger days.
colin- crazy, my inspiration.
leonard- attitude problem, makes me think.
ah chow- quiet at times yet such a gd friend.
kenneth- dont let his appearence kid you, he can pull a really gd joke.
weiping- irritating yet amazingly entertaining.
weehow- short-tempered , "buh bye" :)
stanley- worder, funny.
isaac- weird hair, fun to be with.
jialong- mybrother.
shifu- powerful priest, great master.
alvin- stupid, innocently friendly.
cheefai- cft, still a nice guy.
matthew- justgood.

i anyhow say wan lah. lol. gg out now. bye

Saturday, March 03, 2007 . 8:24 AM

Sentosa was great. i have a hot red body now. im weird. gtg slp now. soccer match tmr morning then ahma's birthday dinner at vivocity. chill. 6th of mar is then the release date.


When life is not cool, take a chill grill.

Thursday, March 01, 2007 . 7:12 AM

these days, ive been behaving weirdly, thinking weirdly. i live everyday nicely. slp, slp and slp. im going sentosa tmr. cool. the feeling didnt come for quite sometime alrd. well done. 3rd of march is soon approaching, i wont have anywhere to go after this already. i wonder, i really do.


Fashion is not about inner beauty.