Monday, April 30, 2007 . 2:57 AM

I am currently in school now. Just finished my 1st lesson. Good thing was that i made friends. Ohya pearlyn's friend and siying's friend is in my class. How cool. Bad thing is, i can forget about my merit cuz i definitely am going to fail the subject i am taking now. DiEss, whatever that means. Waiting for drusilla before going to ahchow's 1st birthday celebration with his friends. I nearly fell asleep in class cuz i couldnt understand what the teacher was saying. All i know is that we were to draw outlines.

Sunday, April 29, 2007 . 8:34 AM

Friends. They can lift or crush you. It depends on what kind of friends do you have. Think. What kind of friends do you have? When you are down and out, are there any friends who is there to give you a helping hand? When you do something, do your friends encourage you or say something negative? When you make a mistake, do your friends still stay by your side or blame and leave you? Every friend is real and true. But do they give you a positive impact? I definitely love all my friends and I care about my friendship with them. Please care more about your friends because friendship is a very sacred thing.


I want to make the world happy.

Saturday, April 28, 2007 . 9:46 AM

Hi. I realised that my past posts have been way too emo. So emo that i couldnt think properly, and that is not who i want to be. The reason behind me being emo would be of reasons that i would not say here. Anyway, there are some people who seriously have a problem they do not know themselves but if you tell them, they would blame you. You get what i mean dont you? There some friends who dont trust me as much anymore. Things change but i dont want them to. I seriously have put in alot of effort in trying to maintain my friendship with many people but they just dont see it the way i do. As i've said, everybody views things differently. I dont blame them. I also have decided that there is no way am i going to end my life soon because i am going to stay in this world as long as i can to observe and discover the mysteries of life. Oh yeah, just a word of advice, there some people you can trust but there some people you cant. Look carefully, you'll never know.


When the lord said to me: "Are you my mistake, or just another toy of fun?"
I said: " Oh god, the bible is not true. If it exists then there wont be you."
Then God says:" Oh my boy, why do you say so?"
I replied:" Cuz one of the verses says i dont exist but i actually do."

Friday, April 27, 2007 . 8:33 AM

I didnt want to write a post that feels emo. But sad to say, thats what i am feeling now. I seriously dont understand humans. Maybe its because im the odd one out. I am seriously going to end my life soon if these doesnt stop. Im going to go ask that guy up there sitting on his comfortable throne, why? I really cant take it anymore, no one can help. My head hurts, my teeth aches.God!


I begged, "Oh God, please answer my prayer for the very 1st time,
all i see is the dark clouds whelming up the skies.
Hold me close to you, please hold me close to you,
a good boy i'll be, if my prayer comes true.
I hate the life i have but please dont let me hate you.
What can i do? To make you come true.

Thursday, April 26, 2007 . 7:08 AM

I will never trespass again.
I have very understanding parents.
I want to eat so many things but i just cant.
I am thinking too much again, how am i going to sleep later?
I simply hate orange lights.
School will be from 9-6 starting next week.
I miss my friends, alot.
I miss you, too much.
My mind is going to blow, i dont know what to say anymore.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007 . 4:23 AM

I'm lost in the darkness, there's no one to hold,
I've got so many things to say but nothing could be told,
Miseries and sorrow thy so hard to mould,
What could be done? To end this road.


I looked at my life and i know that it sucks,
I ruined things that meant that much,
What can i do to make it true?
Of the hardship that ive got to pull through.


God is not a good friend,
He gave me a school but took away my friends,
He gave me a hope but a bigger disappoint,
I've got no one to blame but me myself,
For believing in him was such a stupid thought.

Monday, April 23, 2007 . 8:33 AM

I thought about my life. What's so great about me? There isnt a single thing i like about myself. I dont know why but i feel damn fcuked up now. I got into my dream course but nothing good is happening to me. I dont know why. Freak, freak, FREAK!



I stand alone waiting, no one comes to bring me home.

Sunday, April 22, 2007 . 9:13 AM

People change, i agree. So do i but not for the good. The world will not come crushing down on you just because nobody likes you but the world will crush on you when even you yourself dont like you. That is what's happening to me now. I have so many things to say but seriously cant say. I feel really vexed now, really. All sorts of emotions filling my head, why must this happen to me on the night before my 1st day of school? Damn it. Although i very much want the person to know how im feeling, but i dont think that person even cares. Nothing can really describe what i feel now. All i wanna say is "i love you".


Oh its so obvious, why cant you just tell?


Happy 17th Birthday Drusilla!!!

Saturday, April 21, 2007 . 11:00 PM

I found a truefrientest thing yesterday and decided to make one myself. My friends did mine and i did theirs. It made me realise somethings. Firstly, i wanna say that all the questions in my blog is relevant. Only constant readers of my blog can actually get it right. For those people who i did your test, i realise that one of you, although i did bad, it doesnt mean we arent close friends. It just tells us that we need to spend more time together. There are shocking friends who did really well and i have no idea how did they do it. Then i also realised one thing. Being a true friend yes, needs to know nearly everything. It does require paying attention to your friend. But you wont know anything if your friend doesnt tell you anything.I did something that i think is pretty stupid and it isnt something i havent done before. There are some people who wouldnt allow you to get into their heads. And, i seriously care about the friendship i have with my friends.



A true friend would be the utmost understanding one.That's what i think. Hi, i can go screw myself already. God is not a good friend, he gave me a school but took all my friends.
Create your own Friend Test here
Try this, i think its damn cool.

Thursday, April 19, 2007 . 9:22 AM

Hi. I'm here today to talk about friends again. Now, close your eyes. Picture yourself having something interesting to talk about. Which friend of your's comes into your mind first? It may be a family member or a friend. If that person is a friend, good for you. For me, i love my friends. I care alot about my friends and the last thing i would want to see is them be unhappy. I feel very unhappy now. There is a reason why. I dont take sides. Anyway, for me, i think that quarrels are for people who dont understand you. I myself, will not quarrel with anybody who i consider as my friend. But if that friend quarrels with me, i would make an effort to say sorry even if im not wrong. This would show that i care and it would affect the person in time to come. Oh ya, i realised something. From now on, i will try not to judge people or even to call them childish. This is because i think that everyone has their own way of thinking or doing things. We cant call them childish just because we are not on the same level. It is simply because we have a different brain. If you really care, it will show. I dont care what you are thinking abt me when you are reading this. Cuz i know that i am a good person who doesnt plot or scheme or else i will rot in hell. Goodnight.


Please make the fighting stop, its just a misunderstanding.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007 . 8:09 AM

I'm like starting to worry already. I fear that all my classmates will know more about fashion then me. The little things i know will not longer matter anymore. There will be 2 types of people in my class. The "angmoh" fashion & "jap" fashion. I am definitely the "angmoh" type one. I thought about it but then decided not to worry anymore as im not gonna care if i do better than them or not. I'm just gonna learn what i love learning and do what i love to do.



Fashion, has a total different meaning to everybody.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007 . 6:49 AM

Hi. I just had my first day of orientation today. It sucked! I did not enjoy it, not at all. (other then ogling at hot babes.) Maybe its because i didnt feel comfortable being in a new environment alone or because im not good at making friends. But i seriously didnt like it, not at all. Thank god i saw my cousin jeremy and he brought me to the library to use msn.Hahah. Then i decided to run away from orientation after getting a number from one of the guy in ADM. He is kinda cute. Oh ya, thankfully, my course is filled with mostly pretty girls and 4-5 guys. I still do not know about my class and the schedule. Im dead. Then i ran away to meet them at PS. Had fun again. I always have fun when im with them. Okay. Then im home early today and im skipping orientation camp tmr! It's not compulsory anyway. Im not that type of orientation camp person as im not friendly at all. Im meeting leonard they all go shopping tmr. Hope i can control and not buy anything. I'm broke.


Happy 17th Birthday Pearlyn Chua!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, April 15, 2007 . 12:16 AM

Hi. I am currently rotting at home. I dont have anywhere to go to and there is only leonard, weehow and weiting online. I'm bored, damn bored. I am going to be home alone soon. I dont want to go to my grand's house. I'm still hoping someone would call me and ask me out.

Saturday, April 14, 2007 . 10:07 AM

All of us!
Star of the night and I.
Kaixin and i acting emo.
Believe me, it wasnt the first picture.
Mr Relunctant and Ms No Face.

Today was the first day i enjoyed slacking at home. I tried to rewrite my song in a more emo way but i failed. Then went for pearlyn's bday celebration. Here are some random pictures :

Friday, April 13, 2007 . 10:11 AM

Damn fun day. Firstly shopping then dinner. Seriously damn fun. Slacked at gardens for quite a time. I am kinda tired now. No inspiration at the moment. Here though, is a poem wrote by stephanie teo:

sanyo the photographer,
always want a perfect picture,
whenever he fails to capture,
our lives will be there for him to torture.

Hahahah, Quite cool lah. Oh and here are some random pics we took just now.

Thursday, April 12, 2007 . 6:12 AM

Hi its me. back again. I have a new hobby and it would be..... writing songs. You must be thinking :"seriously? you dont even know how. " Ya you are right but i just dont care because i just enjoy it. I already got 2 of them half written. I have 3 titles in mind. Too bad i dont have a voice or else i would be singing them myself. The 3 titles are :

The sun will shine again;

Let's not pretend to care &

Do i want your love tonight?


So, i had a really fun time in the past few days. I miss the redang trip. I love my friends.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007 . 6:00 AM

I just watched the movie " Because i said so ". It got me thinking. Love, no one can really describe it. You may never know the meaning of it. Love, does it happen to everyone? Or does it even happen to anyone? We, will never know. But, the love we know now, is about 2 people's lifes crossing. It may or may not last. Many people marry, thinking that they love the person but ends up divorcing when their love dies down. Some may call it a "fling", some would call it a "mistake", others would still call it " love" ; "Love that never lasts". How do you know when you're in love? Is it the mere missing of the person? Or that nostalgic feeling when you think of him/her? Many people say that in life, love is the true meaning of living. But what about those people who havent fall in love or been in love before? Would we say that their lives would be a waste? Or would we say that they are the sad ones who are the God's mistakes? It's hard, to tell if its love. It is never about people who "break-patch" oftenly. Love, is sacred. Before you say the phrase " I love you" or " I dont love you anymore" , think twice think thrice. You better mean it. But dont be afraid of misplacing your love because maybe that's what its about.Trying, failing and then finally succeeding. Love.


When love comes around, boys and girls will laugh out loud.

Monday, April 09, 2007 . 10:12 AM

I just enjoy the late night mac deliveries. That's the time when i have the time to my own. The thinking time. Today, i thought about my love life.I'm not young anymore. Since i want to get married young, i should start scouting for my future wife already. I will most probably marry my next girlfriend. It is time i pull out every single resort. Anyway, i went to chomp chomp to celebrate with the guys. hahah. then went to ice-cube, then to alvin's house to slack. I just finished my mac. From today onwards, im going to built up my life, my character. I'm not gonna live my life unfulfillingly. I am going to make a bond so strong, it lasts forever. Good night.



The days are coming, you are just gonna get going.

Sunday, April 08, 2007 . 10:39 PM

Nothing can describe the happiness i have now. You know what? I finally see the sun.

JASPER GOH JIA QING,

Congratulations, you have been offered admission to Level 1.1 of the followinf full-time course, commencing 23rd april 2007 :


APPAREL DESIGN & MERCHANDISING



HAHAHAHAHH. i cant believe it! I got it this morning and i was screaming at the lobby. I wanted to call everyone but they were either in school or still sleeping. The thing is, the documents are really scary, really. I need to go do a checkup and i think im damn late lah. My house no printer somemore. I need help! :)

I got back safely! Here is the latest update on what happened during the redang trip.

Day 1 : Thurs night. Few of them came to see us off and a few sent smses. Thank you very much :) and not to forget weiping who rushed down to pass me my mp3 but was sadly late for 5 mins. But thanks for the effort. Then we were in the coach then alighted at yong peng to have supper. We had RAMLY burger! Hahah. Damn shiok. Then went back to the bus to sleep.

Day 2 : We reached the jetty at about 8.30am and waited for the boat to fetch us at 9am. The boat ride was nearly an hour long and was simply, rocky and wet. It is better than a roller coaster ride. We finally saw our destination and alighted. There wasnt a jetty so everytime we wanted to board or alight, we would get wet. We got a whole kampong house to ourselves. The 6 of us were so scared that we shared a room. Alvin got a bed and the rest of us got cosy in 2 queen sized beds. Cool place. We slacked in our house for about an hour before heading out for lunch. Fish was great. Then my first time snorkeling was so fun! We took a boat ride to an more stable wave place and snorkelled there. Corals and fishes are so beautiful. We headed back and then had our own free time throughout the day. We played volleyball, soccer and we swam in the sea. The sea was so nice and clear and the waves totally rocked. Dinner came. Sqweet rocks. Than we had our first night there and i learned how to play fifa psp.

Day 3 : Woke up at 7plus. We went to have breakfast, meegoreng and eggs. After that, we got to go snorkel again in another place. There many many people there. We took damn lots of pictures. "beautiful pictures" . Hahah. Snorkeling was real fun. real fun. Then we took the boat back to have lunch before going to another redang island. The other island was ten times bigger and had almost everything. EVERYTHING. We stayed there till about 6 before heading back. Oh ya, i bonded with 2 kids especially a boy named weiyi. He is 7 this year and he is "bo gay". He calles me "San Yi gor gor" instead of "Sanyo gor gor". Then everyone there started calling me that. They decided to stick around me. I allowed them to bury me in the sand but they took such a long time that my face turned blood red. It was burnt badly. But i was glad they had fun. I had fun too. Then i carried sanyi di di go play with the waves and had much fun. It has been such a long time since i was young, young like him. Then dinner came. BBQ. We cooked alot of things and ate ourselves away. Then there was a "campfire". It was so huge, we thought some planes might come and "save" us. We went back to our rooms and scared the shit out of ourselves before turning in. Ohya, leonard and shifu enjoyed calling me yian kut ku. Ask them why.


Day 4: We woke up late cuz the ten men didnt ride anymore. Had breakfast before packing up to leave. We waited for the boat and took last min photos. How cool. Then we went back to the jetty and changed as we were all wet. Then took the bus back .Stopped for lunch, dinner and the usual toilet breaks. Lunch and dinner was great. Then reached singapore at about 12. Just reached home and gonna go sleep. I still feel as if im still on the boat. I really enjoyed the trip very much and am looking forward to the next one. Good night. :)

Wednesday, April 04, 2007 . 9:55 AM

I'm having the light feeling now. I just picked up a book just now and realised that it's been a really long time since i read a book. So i've decided to buy that book. It may be fate,cuz the book is about dying, having a 2nd chance and cherishing people around you. This is all im thinking about now. I've decided to bring the book for the trip as i think i will be a loner after ruining somethings. Gosh, i suck. Anyway, I may not return from the trip anymore ( as some people says it) but who cares. Dont miss me while i'm gone. I'm going to pack my stuffs already. bye people, i'll miss you. :)


When he went blundering back to God,
His songs half written, his work half done,
Who knows what paths his bruised feet trod,
What hills of peace or pain he won?

I hope God smiled and took his hand,
And said, "Poor truant, passionate fool!
Life's book is hard to understand:
Why couldst thou not remain at school?"

Tuesday, April 03, 2007 . 8:43 PM

Something happened yesterday night. I couldnt sleep. I dont know what to do anymore. I'm beginning to realise things. I know that im going to try my best. I hope we're still friends. There are things in life that i dream of but will never have. Actually, i dont even have a single thing i want. I am feeling weird again now. I need help. I'm keeping calm. All i have to say is that i'm sorry and you know i would never do anything against you.



When everything in the world turn against you, i'll be there to comfort you.

I'm feeling kind of inspirative now. I just found a new thing to do. Try out google's image search. I enjoy viewing the pictures one by one and think. I also seriously like a few songs and i will never get bored of listening to them. I suddenly feel like being a producer and produce movies. I think it will be damn cool. Everyone has a story to tell and i want to help them. I already have a few stories to tell already, including mine. Btw, i truely agree that in life, it doesnt matter if you are a winner or a loser. But seriously, dont be sarcastic or jealous. It is like a rocking chair, it keeps you moving but gets you nowhere. Oh and andy wants me to say that im actually the one who pose him in buying that white berms. Okay im finally going back to band tomorrow. take care.



Let's leave ourselves a beautiful story.

Monday, April 02, 2007 . 8:59 AM

When somebody says something to criticize me, i wouldnt retaliate. This is because i dont want to hurt their feelings because i know how hurting it is to be criticized. Although the person reading it will know im talking about him or her but i just wanna say that i know that he or she is kidding about the stuffs he or she said. Style, is not defined like that. People may think i do not have style but its okay because i know that everybody appreciate things in a different way. You may think its nice but the others may think its not. I hid the truth when asked of opinions but now, im so going to be truthful no matter what. I will try to gain confidence. That is what im lacking of.


You have no idea how understanding a true friend can be.

I enjoyed the day today. Firstly, i wanna thank my mother cuz she has been cooking breakfast for me nearly everyday. Imagine waking up everyday and having hams, sausages, eggs and orange juice served to you? damn cool right. Okay, then i went to run a few errands with her before meeting ah chow and andy to go town meet the rest. Walked around town for a few hours before the guys went home and leaving me with andy only. Oh yeah, andy and shifu posed me by buying the same white berms. HAHAHAHAH. so i accompanied andy to walk around town then nicholas came to find us. 3 of us walked around until my mum and sis called me. andy was supposed to leave with me but his friend needed something so too bad. Then came home. Ive been looking for a new topic but yet had no inspiration yet. Maybe later in the middle of the night. Alright. Take care.

Sunday, April 01, 2007 . 9:50 AM

Today was the first day where i felt was long. Maybe it was because of my phone's lag behind of 2 hours but i think it was because i had fun. Alright. Yesterday, 31st of April 11.55pm. I was at the doorstep of vivian's house wanting to surprise her. BUT i realised my phone couldnt call or sms when i have already lighten the candles. It was already half-burnt until my help came. Dewei. So i used his phone to call vivian and asked her to open the door. The 2 of us sang her a birthday song and she was kinda touched, i hope. lol. Then we stayed in the house waiting for our next surprise , royston. BUT royston came home earlier than we expected so we hid in vivian's room for quite awhile before the rest of the gang appeared. Then we shocked royston. His face was priceless. Lol. Then we watch JACKASS 2. Damn funny. And their bro and sis-in-law ordered mac for us. thank you. Then went home at 2am. Then i didnt know my phone had a problem. It was alrd 11.30 when andy called me but i thought he was playing a prank on me cuz my phone reads 8.30. I woke up at the real time 1 and still thought it was 10. Then went to play a little of street soccer and was damn on-form. Hatrick? Damn cool. Then the field got problem so in the end, upper court. GROUPIE TRASHED CP!!! lol. the score is 4-3 but shld be 4-1 cuz mr stan own goaled one and the other was an obvious offside. But it is still damn cool. I love it.


I finally prayed today, but it got things worse.